Fill My Cup, Lord

"The Lord Jesus does not fill dirty cups. Anything that springs from self, however small it may be,is sin. Self-energy or self-complacency in service is sin. Self-pity in trials or difficulties, self-seeking in business or Christian work, self-indulgence in one's spare time, sensitiveness, touchiness, resentment and self-defence when we are hurt or injured by others, self-consciousness, reserve, worry<, fear, all spring from self and all are sin and make our cups unclean.* But all of them were put into that other cup, which the Lord Jesus shrank from momentarily in Gethsemane, but which He drank to the dregs at Calvary - the cup of our sin."
~ Roy Hession (The Calvary Road)

Lately, I have been reading Roy Hessions's powerful little book The Calvary Road, and I can only sit in awe as my tears stream. Hession's words are so very true. So difficult, hard, humbling and unbelievable, but true!
I've struggled so long with fears, self-consciousness and sensitiveness, and often wondered why. Why am I fearful? Why am I self-conscious? Why am I so sensitive and easily offended by what people say or think about me? Why? I began to think that these little failures were just personality traits, unchangeable by anyone or anything. Tho=ese faults and degrading attitudes toward myself and others were there to eat me alive for as long as I lived. But, thank God I was wrong. Dead wrong.

Sin is an evil bond full of deceit, bits of vanishing pleasure, and always ending in destruction. Always. My fearfulness is sin. It has taken me awhile to fully accept and admit to this sad but freeing fact. For me to fear anything or anyone besides God is, and always will be, sin. But Jesus has already paid for it with His blood. I only need to confess my sin, place it beneath the cross of Jesus and walk away, cleansed by His powerful blood! Hallelujah, what a Savior!

I used to think that being self-conscious was a most definite character trait. A person either is or is not self-conscious. I was wrong. Self-consciousness stems from a twisted version of pride. I am proud, I care very much about how my peers view me. Because of my pride, I am self-conscious. Because of my sinful self-consciousness, I focus on me and how I present myself to the world. I become my own god. Self-consciousness is not only prideful, it is also idolatrous. How could I possibly worship myself and my own reputation above the Almighty God? Sin is an evil bond full of deceit.

I am offended often, very often. I am offended easily. The smallest words, the simplest comments, the quickest glances can all offend and hurt me. I have only recently begun to realize just how much of a sin that is! I am not truly walking with Jesus if something so simple as a person's comment can offend me, cause me to stumble and make me angry and defensive. If I view myself properly, if I let God be God and myself a simple human, if I am honest, if I am teachable, if I am humble ...
nothing will offend me.
"Great peace have they which love Thy law: and nothing shall offend them."
~ Psalm 119:165

The Calvary Road is a huge blessing and turning point in my life! I am not finished reading it yet, but I look forward to walking closer to Jesus, resting completely in Him, opening my heart and letting Him cleanse me and fill me to overflowing!

Jesus, Rescue Me

All of this talk about politics, politicians, policies and beliefs has had me thinking a lot. What do I believe? What do I know about freedom, government, rules, regulations and everything else that's being brought to the debate floor? A little bit, but not enough. I've decided that I need to read our Constitution about five times before I place my vote. I think every American should read the Constitution at least once before voting. Imagine the difference that could make!
Then again, imagine the difference it would make in my life if I sought God whole-heartedly and read His Word and prayed with all my might, soul and strength! I've experienced the love, the joy, the peace, the gratefulness, the kindness and the godly attitude that comes from immersing myself in my Master's Word. Oh, to be filled with a passionate desire for my Lord! Jesus, rescue me from me!