Sometimes I don't even know what to think. What am I doing with my life? Where the heck am I going? I don't know, and sometimes I don't care. But today I care, I just don't know.
College? India? Anywhere-but-Wisconsin? Jeeperz.
If I had ten lives, I'd be able to live each one to the very fullest and still wish for more lives to live out all my crazy, big dreams and fulfill each of my goals!
So, where does it stop? Where do my dreams finally die? Must I hand it all over to God and just say, "Hey, I'm gonna sit here and live day to day and write stuff and work until You say, 'Go.'"
Or am I going to make a decision ... and go for it with all my heart and soul?
I care. I just don't know. What if I make the wrong decision? I don't know, but I don't want to stay here constantly thinking about it .... so help me, I'm getting on my knees tonight with my Bible open and I'm going to cry out to my God until I get some semblance of peace, some semblance of sanity and guidance!
Jesus said, "Follow me." And I did, and I have ... but now I've reached a crossroads, and I don't know which way He went. Because I fell behind. This is apparently what happens when I become obsessed with day to day life (which is great but ...). This is what happens when I dethrone Jesus from being number one in my life ... I get left behind and I don't know where to go.
Who said living for Jesus is easy? Well, I don't think anyone did, but if they did ... they were wrong.
I have dreams, dreams of college, becoming a great pianist, teacher, author .... owner of a wonderful music studio.
I have dreams, dreams of India, orphanages, caring for orphans, teaching, learning, loving and living out my days in India in service to God.
I have dreams, dreams of traveling the world, visiting each and every continent, every city ... every place.
I have dreams.
When will my dreams die?
The same day I do.
